Human Disconnection- The Unseen Energy String That Connects Person To Person- Broken and Restrung

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Don’t Belong Here by Alena Beljakova is part of a series of images that deals with the increasingly insulated and disconnected nature of modern urban life. This particular image is an effective allegory of the modern condition- it shows human disconnection from each other and also from nature. 

 

I was speaking with a lady the other day and asked her to use one word to describe how she feels about her relationships. Her response was, “If I had to pick one word, it would be… disconnected. I don’t feel like I have any real friends, certainly not anyone I would feel comfortable confiding in. Sure there are places on social media sites where I have ability to contact with past friends from high school or past fellow employees or even current employees, but I feel if I lost the ability to go online, I wouldn’t be missed, no one would care. I actually think I’d be forgotten rather quickly. I’m married but I don’t feel connected to my husband in the way that I feel we should be connected. I’m pretty sure that if you asked him what my interests and hobbies are, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. Sad isn’t it?”

Unfortunately, I bet there are a lot of people who feel the same way. Maybe not exactly but with social media, more people are trying to make connections while sitting behind a computer monitor and a keyboard than ever before. Personally, I myself have felt a sense of disconnect in childhood, my teen years, my early adult years, and even fairly recently.

I come from a large family. As a child we moved around a lot. Because of that, I didn’t see a need to make friends, since we weren’t going to be there long anyway, and I always had my brothers and sisters around me, always had someone to play with or go do something with. As a teen, I led a very different life than what one would consider “normal”. I still moved around a lot, I wasn’t with my large family anymore though. I went to school and worked, and partied a lot which sometimes got me in trouble. That lifestyle carried over into my early adulthood except I started making connection with people who some would consider friends and to others may seem like friends of convenience… Until I had my son. My son was my everything. Now as an adult, It is something I am working on with my studies of Spirituality, Meditations, and changing my beliefs with personal development. I had a “best friend” (outside of my husband). Our connection, her dad and my mom had the same drinking problems and we loved music. We met Freshman year of High School. We lost contact when the two of us moved to opposite sides of the Country. She hired a private investigator to find me and it was AWESOME! We remained in contact with each other up until September of last year making visits back and forth to see each other, phone calls, and emails with photos attached. Now, her phone number no longer in service. I get no response to emails sent. She always thought my birthday was 3 days after the actual date. She would call, I would laugh and tell her, “you missed it AGAIN!” This year, I heard nothing from her. I keep waiting to hear from her, longing to restore that one important connection. I don’t think I will ever lose the hope that maybe someday she’ll pop back up again.

So, what is “Human Connection” or the feeling or sense of “connection”? 

Some would say it is the feelings of belonging, of love, and empathy. The feeling that a person has something in common with another person, that they fit in, maybe needed, desired, cared about, that they are good enough and worthy of that connection.

Image“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ― Brene Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

Image“That’s what Jamie didn’t understand: it was never just sex. Even the fastest, dirtiest, most impersonal screw was about more than sex. It was about connection. It was about looking at another human being and seeing your own loneliness and neediness reflected back. It was recognizing that together you had the power to temporarily banish that sense of isolation. It was about experiencing what it was to be human at the basest, most instinctive level. How could that be described as just anything?” Emily Maguire

Studies have shown how very important human connection and human contact (socialization) is. It is one of the human needs we must have to thrive and grow. Without it, we would wilt away. “If you aren’t growing, you are dying.” is the quote that runs through my head. We need to connect with others to enhance our strengths, challenge our differences, to inspire, and… to be happy.

According to doctor John Cacioppo, Ph. D. “The desire for connection is so irrepressible that people imagine relationships with important social others, or indulge in “social snacks” (e.g., photos of loved ones) and surrogates (e.g., parasocial attachments to television characters).”

I hope you take a few moments and watch this video: The Case For Human Connection

The Case for more human connection

I found this interesting because personally I don’t drink alcohol. I believe everyone else I know does. This is how they socialize with each other and to be quite honest, even though I don’t think I would be any more fun, or anything with added alcohol, I don’t get invited to go out much, and I have stayed home many weekend nights while others are out at bars and clubs. Does it bother me? I guess, sometimes. I’m finding more human connection in groups I have actually met online through Meetup.com or by attending seminars. But anyway…

Back to the lady I was speaking to, one thing I noticed about the response I received was that this lady, said that she goes on social media sites, but she feels that if she was unable to connect to the internet, that no one would even notice or care that she wasn’t there. It was though in essence she was saying, that if she passed away, no one would care, perhaps no one would notice. Do you see why she chose the word, “disconnected”? 

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What if she did “disconnect” from the internet and got involved in other things offline? Would that solve any of her feelings of being disconnected?

Perhaps this story of a man who “unplugged” for a year could shed some light.

I was a little bored, a little lonely, but I found it a wonderful change of pace. I wrote in August, “It’s the boredom and lack of stimulation that drives me to do things I really care about, like writing and spending time with others.” I was pretty sure I had it all figured out, and told everyone as much.”

You might want to read that. It probably doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would. Or, maybe it will. (smile). I really enjoyed this one. 

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I’d like to end this blog entry with a thought. We all must have human contact. It is up to you whether you decide to have it all via the internet and social media sites, or all in person with face to face interaction, or a little of both. Whatever you chose, the best way to have the most meaningful connections is to nurture them. Listen to the people who talk to you and be interested in what they say. Try to experience and meet new people by branching out your interests. The lady that I spoke with and the problem she had with the disconnect from her husband, I had to wonder if he felt the same way about her. My son told me last weekend “Friendships are work” and he is right. Making and maintaining real human connection and friendships does take a lot of work. Nothing worth anything comes easy and when it comes to expanding your consciousness and your connection with others, it won’t be easy… you know what they say…IT’LL BE WORTH IT!

Feel free to connect with me on:

facebook – facebook.com/jenniwhipple

twitter: @jennicoolwhip

Instagram @jenniwhip

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“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” Bill Cosby.

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When I saw this quote by Bill Cosby, I thought about how appropriate it was in so many things about life, love, and happiness. The focus on the taking of the chance, the risk and how we need to be willing to take that chance if we really want something badly enough, if we MUST change. What it didn’t get across was the point that we have to take this action NOW! I mean as soon as we know it is in front of our faces how we need to act on it. Set the momentum going and move in the direction we need to take.

Personally I can attach this to many areas of my life at this exact moment. I just finished week 4 of the Shaun T Focus T25.. (down 5lbs and 5.5″ in my waist and hips) but that had to start with something very small..the decision to take that chance and to focus on not just the workouts but the nutrition too. I know some people say this program doesn’t work and if they do say that I guarantee either they aren’t following the nutrition guide provided with this program, they aren’t putting the intensity into the workouts, or they aren’t doing the workouts 5 days a week…anyway you look at it, THEY AREN’T DOING THE PROGRAM!

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Yes, “Everyone DOES have time for that” but do they also want to give it the energy vs sitting on their couch watching whatever show they “have to get home to watch!”? Do they want to make the changes to their food intake ( I stay away from the word “diet”) even though they’ve been told that doing so will provide them with more energy, clarity, regularity, and many more health benefits, but revert back to the old food items because it is “easier” or more fitting since they are back in their comfort zone of bad foods and excuses?

My goal with this blog is to help as many people I can with health, nutritional, and wellness information as well as provide you with the experiences I am going through while doing my workouts and fitness routines because guess what, It isn’t easy for me either!  Image  Sometimes you really do need to be your own hero. You need to put it in your head that this is something you aren’t going to negotiate anymore, something you’re not going to hide behind excuses anymore, something that you MUST do because if you don’t…think about it, what is the worst case scenario you can picture in your mind if you do not make the changes you need to make in your life to live the best quality, best health, best vitality, best adventurous or whatever the life if that you deserve to live… if you do not make these changes what are you doing to yourself RIGHT NOW?!

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I write this blog for you…because I want you to have the most fulfilling life you can possibly have. Because without health, without love, without contribution…what are we?

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this today. I appreciate any suggestions about topics and welcome comments and feedback from you.

Live Life…

Good morning Firewalker! YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

fire walk

In case you are one of the few who don’t know who Anthony Robbins is, or what he does…I have one word to describe him .. OUTSTANDING!

This past week I was blessed with being able to attend his “Unleash the Power Within” or “UPW” seminar in Chicago. A four day…total immersion, amazing experience! What happened there can’t be described with complete accuracy in a blog because it really is something that you need to FEEL and EXPERIENCE to understand. Although you may see pictures or video’s from one of his seminars, or even listen to the cd’s, it is most definitely NOT the same as being there in  person and going through the journey of the transformation.

"Is anyone hot?!"

 Now, I have to share with you , the money that was made by this event, Tony Robbins actually was able to feed 300,000 families with it here in the Chicagoland area..why was nothing mentioned about this in the news?! Because it isn’t “bad news”. For every single ticket that is sold, several families have food that may have not had it without his help. “In keeping with his philosophy that “the secret to living is giving” Robbins has  partnered with the Greater Chicago Food Depository to help feed local families  in need. For every ticket sold to Unleash the Power Within, the Anthony Robbins  Foundation will donate funds for 18 meals to be delivered to local families. With that in motion, lives will be changed before guests even set foot into the  event.”

Event Schedule:
Day 1: Turning Fear into Power – The Fire Walk Experience – Annihilate fears. Participants will have the opportunity to walk across a bed of hot coals between 1,200 and 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit to learn that there is absolutely nothing they cannot overcome.

My daughter was supposed to go with me but couldn’t because she started a new job and had to work, so right off the bat, I was facing TWO of my fears…going to a place I have never been to before by myself ( I always worry I’ll get lost), and, being around a large crowd of people who were going to be with others they knew with myself being alone (I was very uncomfortable being around groups of people who are talking and eating together with friends and family and I am by myself)..and this event had 5000 attendees!! That’s me, when I jump in, I jump in deep! Right away though I was able to connect with others though, the excitement and anticipation while waiting for the doors to open for seating was incredible as we all talked about who we were and began making connections with each other. Immediately, I began to understand that this was not going to be like anything I had ever anticipated…it was going to be MUCH better than I could have ever imagined. And in case you were wondering, YES! I did do the Firewalk and my feet were just fine!

Jen's a Firewalker

Day 2: Turn Dreams into Reality – The Power of Success Conditioning
Participants get the clarity and power needed to accomplish whatever they set out to do.

Here is an excerpt from my journal about day 2 tony retweeted my tweetAnd he messaged me” Another AMAZING day about business growth, changing your state with physiology. Holy how, we went from 4 increasing levels of being Angry (my partner in this exercise I think scared several people around us with his angry yelling and physical behavior) to a very happy “Celebrate” with party music, dancing, and jumping up and down.”

It was at this time I took advantage of having a coaching session with one of TR’s coaches there and just in that amount of time, I was able to see what I need to do to make my dreams and goals a reality!

Day 3: Breakthrough Day – Transformation Day
Designed to integrate attendees’ key decisions to ensure they move forward with so much strength and verve that they never look back.

“The breakthrough that transforms everything—from your
finances, to your relationships, to your health—is closer than you think.  All you need is within you now. Connect with the people, the passion and the environment that will make it happen!”

A very emotional, very difficult day. This is the day the transformation is made ( if you decide to allow it) and you get your “Breakthrough”. Now I am the Voice I have several pages written in my journal about this day, obviously very personal. What was holding me back, what happens if I continue to not go for my dreams, what my big dreams and goals are, what could happen if I go for those and the life that I could be living in 5 or 10 years. This was the day I decided that I MUST get the money to get to “Life and Wealth Mastery”  and then “Date With Destiny

Day 4: Power of Pure Energy – 12 Master Principles of a Vital Life
Finally, it’s all about stepping into a fresh new life with vitality and inexorable energy. By learning how to care for their bodies—life’s most precious gift—they enable themselves to prosper and live life to the absolute fullest

Unfortunately I had to leave a little early during this days events but I found it interesting how many people didn’t know very much about health, fitness, and wellness. How the foods we eat affect so many things from the health of our body systems, to our appearance, energy levels, and our moods. I found that I need to stop “considering” doing a cleanse and really do it. We have been asked to accept a 10 day Challenge of eating no meat for 10 days. This is something I am still considering. It was refreshing to hear Tony talk about his passion, the vitality of life.

Unleash_The_Power_Within water fight

 

If you are ready, this is the name and contact info for MY Personal Results Specialist:

Debbie Kosta

Robbins Research International

an Anthony Robbins Company

New York, NY 10280

P: +1.858.535.6283  (EST)

E: debbie.kosta@tonyrobbins.com

Unleash The Power Within

Here is a list of the music that was played at this event. Some great things happened during the time these songs were played.

http://www.tonyrobbins.com/community/event-music/