I had a very interesting thing happen to me yesterday. Before I go into what happened, I need to back up a bit and tell you, I have been married for going on 18 years to a man who is very intelligent, creative, hard working, loyal to myself and his family, and gives his best in all those things that capture his attention. We have lived in the same home for the past 12 years, we have 2 dogs, Bitxi (pronounced Big C) and Indigo, or we call him Indigo Jones (or “ Indy” for short), and our orange tiger striped cat Xipilli, “Zip” is his shortened name.
We have 2 daughters who live at home, and a son who is doing well in college. We both have decent paying jobs, he HATES his, and I feel unfulfilled and unchallenged in mine, but they pay the bills and feed the family. Doesn’t sound all that bad does it? Besides us both not having satisfying jobs.. at least we HAVE jobs and that is something to be grateful for!
Yesterday, I was at work and had just gone on my lunch break when I get a call from my husband telling me he was 50.5 miles away from home, in front of a convention center in downtown Chicago, and the tire on our vehicle blew out. We had just had all four tires replaced on the car but the company who changed the tire said they couldn’t get the spare to go back in so it was sitting back home in our garage. With all the stuff he had with him at the time, there was no room in the car for it anyway outside of the spare tire area.
He told me he needed me to leave work, go home, which was 25 miles in the opposite direction, get the spare, and then bring it to him so he could change the tire. Did I mention he was in downtown CHICAGO in front of a Convention Center?! There was no way they were going to wait for me to do that before they had, or the Chicago police saw him there, and had him towed! I called our “Roadside Assistance” program through our insurance and they said they would tow the car for 15 miles for free, but after that, it would be $4-$5 per mile. When I relayed this info to my husband, he said something that burned in my mind for several hours. He said, “My life just fucking sucks!”
Immediately I took that personally, as if it were because I wasn’t doing enough. Then I began thinking about all the people in worse situations and began to really get irritated with the fact he could even think that, much less say that to me. I believe a previous me would have launched on him for making a comment like that. Thankfully I have evolved enough and have grown enough to look past the words and go deeper into what he was saying. It isn’t that his life sucked, it was the situation that he was in at that present time that “sucked”, and that is something, if he would have said, I would have agreed with. The fact is, the situation I was in at that time sucked as well.
Due to health situations with my MS and Hashimoto’s and with my daughters (broken bones, degenerative disc disease, and muscle spasms) I have sometimes had to miss work or leave early to get to a doctor, therefore, my attendance at my “unsatisfying employer that pays the bills”, has been less than exceptional.
In fact, I was fearful (another word for FEAR is STRESS) that by having to leave early, I just might lose my job! Losing my job would no doubt have a trickledown effect in other areas of my life, AND in my family’s life. As I sit here right now, I am waiting for my boss to call me in his office. I’m not lying about that either. While I wait, here is something to think about, if you think your “life sucks”, it’s your own fault. This isn’t meant to demean you or make your feel bad, but you are 100% responsible for the happiness in your life, not your mate, not your parents, not even your favorite fluffy animal or bare butted piggy… you are baby!
Where you are in life right now is a direct response of your thoughts, actions, and beliefs. If you are dissatisfied with your life, only you can change what needs to be changed to get the results you desire in life and make it not so SUCKY. The fact is that I am in an unfulfilling job, which is 100% my doing, I get that. But I don’t go around emptying other peoples buckets (have you read HOW FULL IS YOUR BUCKET? By Tom Rath ) ,because of my lack of doing to get myself into a more emotional, spiritual fulfilling position of earning money. I know the only way to get that is to get myself around those who have the life I desire and do what they do. Therefore, I am off to find those type of people. 🙂
This situation gave me the opportunity to share something with my daughter. My concern of the potential situation of losing my job. I also shared with her that if the feared situation happened; maybe something better would come my way. Because regardless if it was due to my own attendance or not, things come at exactly the right time. No doubt it would cause me to change my current path (of least resistance) and open my eyes to what else is out there.
And so along came the question… What am I waiting for? I can make the choice for me to step out on that ledge and turn my Spirituality and love for people into my career, or I could be like the majority of the population that waits for life to happen to them as if they have no control and then scream out “MY LIFE JUST FUCKING SUCKS!”
I’m making my choice and making my life…let the adventure begin! Hell no! I’m not quitting my job, I’m not talking being spontaneous and thoughtless.. I have kids that rely upon me!
But I am preparing with investigation so that I will make that change that will bring more happiness and fulfillment into my life. My husband, on the other hand, well, he’ll have to dig deep and figure out what his passions in, though I believe he already knows, and he will also have to make those changes or continue with the self disabling mindset he has fallen into.
“You cannot fix the problems in your life with the same mindset that created them. Change your mind, change your life.”